http://www.differentequals.com/glossary.html
Now that we've got that out of the way. Let's talk about Bella's kink list she handed over...
Here's one of the checklists I used quite a bit and the majority of the list below is from this website, though I did remove a few that had absolutely no bearing on this story:
http://latches.webslaves.com/checklist.htm
Here we go--Bella's instructions and her list so they could make sure they were compatible:
Directions:
Rating Scale
| 0 | Utterly no desire to do that activity and don’t like doing it (in fact, may loath it) and ordinarily would object to doing it, but you would permit the Dominant to do it if they really wanted it (sometimes called a soft limit) |
| 1 | Don’t want to do or like to do this activity, but wouldn’t object it if was asked of you |
| 2 | Willing to do this activity, but it has no special appeal for you |
| 3 | Usually like doing this activity, at least on an irregular/occasional basis |
| 4 | You like doing this activity and would like to experience it on a regular basis |
| 5 | Is a wild turn-on for you and you would like it as often as possible |
Note any additional information or nuances which might be important for your Dom to know in the comments section.
There is intentionally some overlap between categories. Unless otherwise stated, the sub is the recipient/target of the activity
Note any additional information or nuances which might be important for your Dom to know in the comments section.
There is intentionally some overlap between categories. Unless otherwise stated, the sub is the recipient/target of the activity
|
Activity
|
Experience
Respond YES/NO
|
Willingness
Rate according to scale described above
|
Comments
|
|
Abrasion
|
No
|
3
|
This girl has sensitive skin and marks easily. Would want this in a place that could be concealed easily by clothing.
|
|
Age Play
|
No
|
2
|
|
|
Anal Sex
|
Yes
|
4
|
Experienced anal player.
|
|
Anal Plugs (small)
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Anal Plugs (large)
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Anal Plug (public under clothes)
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Animal Roles
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders)
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Aromas
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Asphyxiation
|
Yes
|
3
|
Depends on how it’s done, but it’s something this girl fantasize about frequently, especially with your hands.
|
|
Auctioned for charity
|
No
|
0
|
Not interested in sharing either one of us at all.
|
|
Ball Stretching
|
N/A
|
||
|
Bathroom use control
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Beastiality
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Beating (soft)
|
Yes
|
0
|
|
|
Beating (hard)
|
NO
|
0
|
|
|
Blindfolding
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Being Serviced (sexual)
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Being bitten
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Breast/chest bondage
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Breath control
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Branding
|
No
|
0
|
Temporary and depending on how it’s done would be okay. Nothing permanent.
|
|
Boot Worship
|
Yes
|
2
|
|
|
Bondage (light)
|
Yes
|
5
|
Ropes especially.
|
|
Bondage (heavy)
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Bondage (multi-day)
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Bondage (public under clothing)
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Breast whipping
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Brown showers (scat)
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Cages (locked inside)
|
Yes
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Caning
|
Yes
|
0
|
This is an absolute hard limit regardless of experience of the Dom.
|
|
Castration fantasy
|
N/a
|
||
|
Catheterization
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Cells/Closets (locked inside of)
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Chains
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Chastity belts
|
Yes
|
2
|
|
|
Chauffeuring
|
Yes
|
2
|
|
|
Choking
|
Yes
|
3
|
See asphyxiation.
|
|
Chores (domestic service)
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Clothespins
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Cock rings/straps
|
N/A
|
||
|
Cock worship
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Collars (worn in private)
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Collars (worn in public)
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Competitions (with other subs)
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Corsets (wearing casually)
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Corsets (trained waist reduction)
|
Yes
|
2
|
|
|
Cuffs (leather)
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Cuffs (metal)
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Cutting
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit, along with next 3.
|
|
Diapers (wearing)
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Diapers (wetting)
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Diapers (soiling)
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Dilation
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Dildos
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Double Penetration
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Electricity
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Enemas (for cleansing)
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Enemas ( retention/punishment)
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Enforced chastity
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Erotic Dance (for audience)
|
Yes
|
3
|
Only if the audience is strictly my Dom.
|
|
Examinations (physical)
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Exercise (forced/required)
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Exhibitionism (friends)
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Exhibitionism (strangers)
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Eye contact restrictions
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Face Slapping
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Fantasy Abandonment
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Fantasy rape
|
NO
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Fantasy gang rape
|
NO
|
0
|
I think it’s clear this is non-negotiable.
|
|
Fear (being scared)
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Fisting (anal)
|
No
|
2
|
|
|
Fisting (vaginal)
|
No
|
2
|
|
|
Flame play
|
No
|
4
|
Very interested in trying this. Temperature play appeals to me.
|
|
Following orders
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Foot worship
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Forced bedwetting
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
forced dressing
|
No
|
2
|
|
|
Forced eating
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Forced homosexuality
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Forced masturbation
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Forced nudity (private)
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Forced nudity (around others)
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Forced Servitude
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Forced smoking
|
No
|
0
|
Absolutely not.
|
|
Full head hoods
|
Yes
|
0
|
|
|
Gags (cloth)
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Gags (inflatable)
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Gags (phallic)
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Gags (rubber)
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Gags (tape)
|
No
|
3
|
|
|
Gas masks
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Gates of Hell (male)
|
N/A
|
||
|
Genital sex
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Given away to another Dom (temp)
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Given away to another Dom (perm)
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Golden Showers
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Gun play
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Hair brush spankings
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Hair pulling
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Hand Jobs (giving)
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Hand Jobs (receiving)
|
N/A
|
||
|
Harems (serving w/other subs)
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Harnessing (leather)
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Harnessing (rope)
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Having food chosen for you
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Having clothing chosen for you
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
(head (give fellatio/cunnilingus)
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Head (rcv fellation/cunnilingus)
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
High Heel Wearing
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
High Heel Worship
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Hoods
|
Yes
|
0
|
|
|
Hot oils (on genitals)
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Hot waxing
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Housework (doing)
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Human puppy dog
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Humiliation (private)
|
Yes
|
2
|
|
|
Humiliation (public)
|
Yes
|
0
|
|
|
Hypnotism
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Ice cubes
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Immobilization
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Infantilism
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Initiation rites
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Injections
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Interrogations
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Kidnapping
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Kneeling
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Knife play
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Leather Clothing
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Leather restraints
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Lectures for misbehavior
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Licking (non-sexual)
|
Yes
|
2
|
|
|
Lingerie (wearing)
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Manacles and Irons
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Manicures (giving)
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Massage (giving)
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Massage (receiving)
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Medical scenes
|
Yes
|
2
|
|
|
Modeling for erotic photos
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Mouth bits
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Mummification
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Name change (for scene)
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Nipple clamps
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Nipple rings (piercing)
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Nipple weights
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Oral/anal play (rimming)
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Over the knee spanking
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Orgasm denial
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Orgasm control
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Outdoor scenes
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Pain (severe)
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Pain (mild)
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Phone sex (serving Dom)
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Phone sex (serving Dom’s friends)
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Phone sex (commercial provider)
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Piercing (temporary, play-pierce)
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Piercing (permanent)
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Plastic surgery
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Prison scenes
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Prostitution (public pretense)
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Prostitution (actual)
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Pony slave
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Punishment scene
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Pussy/cock whipping
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Pussy worship
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Riding crops
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Riding the "horse" (crotch tort)
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Rituals
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Religious scenes
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Restrictive rules on behavior
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Rubber/latex clothing
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Rope body harness
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Saran wrap
|
Yes
|
2
|
|
|
Scarification
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Scratching - getting
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Scratching - giving
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Sensory deprivation
|
No
|
2
|
|
|
Serving
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Serving as art
|
No
|
2
|
|
|
Serving as ashtray
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Serving as furniture
|
Yes
|
2
|
|
|
Serving as a maid
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Serving as a toilet (urine)
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Serving as a toilet (feces)
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Serving as waitress/waiter
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Serving orally (sexual)
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Serving other Doms (supervised)
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Serving other Doms (unsupervised)
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Sexual deprivation (short term)
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Sexual deprivation (long term)
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Shaving (body hair)
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Having (pubic hair)
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Skinny dipping
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Sleep deprivation
|
No
|
1
|
|
|
Sleep sacks
|
No
|
1
|
|
|
Slutty clothing (private)
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Slutty clothing (public)
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Spandex clothing
|
Yes
|
1
|
|
|
Spanking
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Speech restrictions (when/what)
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Speculums (anal)
|
No
|
1
|
|
|
Speculums (vaginal)
|
No
|
1
|
|
|
Spitting
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Spreader bars
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Standing in corner
|
Yes
|
2
|
|
|
Stocks
|
No
|
1
|
|
|
Straight jackets
|
No
|
1
|
|
|
Strap-on-dildos (sucking on)
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by)
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Strap-on-dildos (wearing)
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Strapping (full body beating)
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Suspension (upright)
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Suspension (inverted)
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Supplying new partners for Dom
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Swallowing feces
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Swallowing semen
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Swallowing urine
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Swapping (with one other couple)
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Swinging (multiple couples)
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Tampon training (in ass)
|
No
|
1
|
|
|
Tattooing
|
No
|
0
|
Temporary henna tattoos as long in done in easily concealed places are acceptable. No permanent tattoos.
|
|
Teasing
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
TENS unit (electrical toy)
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Thumb cuffs (metal)
|
No
|
2
|
|
|
Tickling
|
Yes
|
2
|
|
|
Triple Penetration
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Uniforms
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Including others
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Vaginal dildo
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Verbal humiliation
|
Yes
|
1
|
|
|
Vibrator on genitals
|
Yes
|
4
|
|
|
Violet wand (electrical toy)
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Voyeurism (watching others)
|
Yes
|
1
|
|
|
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others)
|
No
|
0
|
Absolute hard limit.
|
|
Video (watching others)
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Video (recordings of you)
|
Yes
|
2
|
|
|
Water torture
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Waxing (hair removal)
|
Yes
|
2
|
|
|
Wearing symbolic jewelry
|
Yes
|
5
|
|
|
Weight gain (forced)
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Weight loss (forced)
|
No
|
0
|
|
|
Whipping
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Wooden paddles
|
Yes
|
3
|
|
|
Wrestling
|
No
|
0
|
Interesting list.
ReplyDeleteBut with Bella's hardlimits is would be difficult to go to any play parties and BDSM clubs without breaking one of them, because she excludes all things, which have to do with public. Is this intended?
Greetings
sit
Great question. ;D
DeleteYep, it's intended. She doesn't want to go to parties or clubs. She wants this strictly to be with her Dom. She's very shy and insecure about doing anything where she'd be viewed in public.
Obviously, this is strictly to this character. I've written other BDSM stories where that is not the case at all. That's the fun of writing these stories to me. I love how the lifestyle is so individualized to Dom/sub relationships.
Thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate it!
As one who has been in the lifestyle for almost 20 years. This is a very interesting checklist. I personally do not like it at all. There are a lot of contradiction in some of the activities. No breath play but willing to do asphyxiation and choking. No to foot worship but yes to boot worship. Yes to saran wrap but no to mummification. The nos to beating but yes to riding crops, paddles and whips. By Yes I mean you rated it a 2 or more and by no I mean your rated them at 0.
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting because I know that what we call light bondage to others might be considered heavy bondage. There is no right or wrong way to do things and I think this is way it is so hard for non lifestylers to understand.
The public play is very common. We do not play publicly but we do go to parties and munches. How else do you grow? You have to establish a network of friends and mentors. Like I said earlier we have been in the lifestyle for almost 20 years and we have only be public about the last 5 years. So I understand not wanting to do that. In fact that is why we still don't play at parties yet. I have not yet worked through those demons.
We are now friends on Facebook. I am on twitter (same name). Feel free to contact me if you want.
Love the story so far. They are experiencing what we call sub frenzy and Dom frenzy right now. It can be dangerous.
Rae
Hi, Inspire Rae,
DeleteThank you so much for your comments. I wrote a new post covering these issues. Hopefully it clears up why some of the list was contradictory. :D